He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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