i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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