Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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