Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
