Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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