i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
