Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just gift wrapped bread.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
