i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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