my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
