just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
