so explain again why im purple
no
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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