I accidentally had phone sex last night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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