I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Farmville is her only friend.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize