just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
