What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
