Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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