A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
