their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
