with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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