I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
