Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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