NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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