i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
that is very illegal...i love you.
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