he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize