So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize