Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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