She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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