I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
