Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
