he wants to bone in the snuggie
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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