My brain says no but my pants say off.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's shark week go big or go home
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
