they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
