she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
