Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
