I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
