This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
