Nicole vs. Life
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
