Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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