so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
