shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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