he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
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