Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
