I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
