should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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