my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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