hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My cat gives me a boner
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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