i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
