So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
