He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
