I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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