ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
420 ftw
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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