About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
