My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
