Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
