Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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