ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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